#31: Winning at Negotiation

Sat in the principal’s office, Herb and Larry were in big trouble. What had started as a prank, now left them in jeopardy of getting expelled. Their 13-year-old mate, Mappo had gone on holiday for a few weeks, but as a joke, they told everyone he had actually died instead! 

They ran a fundraiser for their friend’s memorial, kept the money themselves and were even given a school award for their efforts. The only slight issue was that Mappo turned up alive and well during the awards ceremony. After Mappo’s miraculous return from the grave, things quickly turned sour.

“You boys are getting expelled.”

Herbie, calmly said, “Slow down Doctor Armor, let’s talk this through.”

"SLOW DOWN?!”

The principal was ready to explode. Larry, wide-eyed, shot a look at Herb and then the headmaster. Herb continued,

“Yes, we did a very bad thing, and we admit it, but if you expel us, there will be a hearing before the board of education – that’s automatic...

At that hearing they’ll want to know why you took the word of three idiot kids, that another kid was dead… Yes, we’ll be expelled, but you’ll be fired and never get another teaching job in New York.”

Doctor Armor sat back and groaned. Larry was in awe. The boys weren’t expelled, and Herbie had navigated his first negotiation, by framing it through his headmaster’s eyes.

Those two kids ended up as lifelong friends, Larry Zieger became Larry King the talk show host. Herb Cohen, built himself into the number one FBI negotiator, advising US presidents Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan on cold war negotiations, helping end the NFL player strike and closing deals in big business. 

Herbie believed that negotiation is natural to human beings, so to be good at negotiation you must understand human nature. Let’s learn from Herbie.

WISDOM 💎

“Once you see your life as a game, and the things you strive for as no more than pieces in that game, you'll become a much more effective player.”

Herb Cohen

By seeing life as a game, you’ll care less, achieve more and have more fun.

Tip 1 - A SMART PLAY ✅

Consider that other people have as much at stake as yourself. We’re naturally self-interested – so focus instead on the needs of the other party. You’re not aiming to trick, but to make the other person feel respected, allowing you to build a win-win deal.

Tip 2 - AVOID 🚩

Taking no as a final answer. 

In 1980, Herb got 18 nos before a yes for his book ‘You can negotiate anything’. He wasn’t fazed - he believed… and all the rejections would just make for a better story. Belief is huge for negotiations. Herb felt that if you believe that you belong, then you belong. If you think you’ve got the power, then you’ve got the power.

Tip 3 - ACTION 💪

Make things happen. Finally, when a tiny publisher printed his book, Herb drove to each American city and cold-called every single media outlet, giving interviews galore. 

At each bookstore, he moved his books to the front and started handing out signed copies. A few hundred books published turned into a million copy best seller and Herb had negotiated his way there by hand.

How can you make things happen today?